Saturday, May 8, 2010

Transition is a fickle mistress...

Well, it is official.  I am now a full time authoress.  No more day job to keep me down!  It is exciting, relaxing, relieving, and completely disorienting not having a regular 9 to 5 job like everyone else on the planet.  And already, 9 days into this whirlwind adventure I have discovered some things.

The first thing that I discovered was how "light" life is without the responsibilities I had burdened myself with.  Physically, I have already been able to push my purse down into the back of a closet because suddenly everything I own fits snugly in my pocket.  No heavy bundles of keys, swipe cards, company cards, receipts, worries and cares to haul all over creation with me.  

Sleep has returned to me in just the right amount and I am told repeatedly that I look more alive than I have in years.  Although I am living life without an alarm clock now (for the first time in a decade) I am still waking early, but without the urgent "the world is ending" feeling that I am so used to.  I have been able to ease into my day and have been amazingly more productive than I could have thought possible.

The other thing that has become apparent, rather abruptly, is that it is very difficult for anyone else to understand and support the decision of someone else "quitting normal life" as was so delicately put to me earlier this week.  I am suddenly an outsider without many supporters.  I knew that choosing to make my way in the world from the comfort of my own home and pajamas would be difficult for some to grasp, but I suppose I wasn't prepared for how much the feelings would sting.  

But, ill feelings aside, I know that the decision to focus on my writing and end my career chasing someone else's definition of "success" will be one of the best decisions I have made for myself and my family.  Sure, I probably won't be rich tomorrow; but I will be better prepared to take care of myself and my loved ones with the time and care that we each deserve.

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